Camp Stories


Every year I have the pleasure of coming back to Spain to teach kids English.

As I enter Spanish Summer #6, here is a collection of my favourite Camp Stories from last year’s camp. I hope you enjoy.

Camp stories #26

Six-year-old Elena joins my class after three weeks in Vanesa’s class

Me: ‘Elena, I have a question for you. Who is a better teacher? Vanesa or me?’

Elena: ‘You, Matt’

Me: ‘Girl, you got swagger. Five extra minutes in the swimming pool for you’


Camp stories #88

Cat In The Hat arts and crafts activity

Made of a black stocking, lentils (I am a good vegetarian), red ribbon, real human eyes and pipe cleaner

You be the judge: cat, monkey or ogre? Arts and crafts has never been my strong point


Camp Stories #314

Chatting about love with 8-year-old Ana

Me: ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’

Ana: ‘No. Do you have a boyfriend?’

Me: ‘Not for now. Is it OK for a boy to be with another boy?’

Ana: ‘Derr, Matt. Of course’

Thanks for being progressive, Spain. Happy Madrid Pride starting today through Sunday!

Camp stories #64

Isabel: ‘Matt, today’s my saint’s day!’

Me: ‘Like, Saint Isabel or something?’

Isabel: ‘Yes’

Me in my head: ‘I do not care’

Me to Isabel: ‘Hmmm, very interesting’

Camp stories #2

Me and my summer boos representing Australia with some fluro orange zinc at the pool


Camp stories #121

Glad to know we have some optimists in town. Thanks Clara, Daniela and Paula


Camp stories #96

Learning about Australia and, after stressing Australia is a welcoming, multicultural society, I show the kids a picture of two Caucasian kids with an Aboriginal kid

Conor: [laughing] ‘He looks like a monkey!’

God help me, as my patience is waning

Camp stories #111

90s flashback. Babe. Amazing.


Camp stories #213

Alex: ‘Matt, you’re looking cachas’

Perfect self-esteem boost the day before Pride

Camp stories #666

Daniela: ‘Matt, come and look over here! Alfonso has six feet fingers!’

Me: ‘Like, six toes?’

Daniela: ‘Yeah, come see!’

Me: ‘Nah, I’m cool. Thanks for the offer though, babe.’

Qué asco!

Camp stories #327

Interesting shape for a water balloon.


2 1/2 weeks down, 2 1/2 to go!

Camp stories #45

Lucía: ‘I live in this school’

Me: ‘I would hate to be you’


Me: ‘How old are you, Lucía?’

Lucía: ‘I’m climbing’

What on Earth have I taught you over the past five weeks?!

Camp stories #999

After five solid weeks with these little ones, it’s time for a pig-out and some well-deserved holidays!


Until next year…

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